the small things in life
a few years back, just when i started college and when my life really started going downhill, i finally realized how astronomically fucked my life was like. i had always been open about my home life because to me that was no big deal. it shocked me when in the middle of telling my story a friend had stopped me midway for a hug and said "im glad youre still here, keeper." that statement baffled me so much, i didnt think what i was going through was that bad [^1].
"how are you still alive?" is also another common question and frankly...im not quite so sure!
i think my cat would be sad if i am gone. no one would brush his long silky white coat or give him treats after waking up from a nap.
i think my friends would miss my loud singing in our car trips around the city. i think they would miss me in general.
i think she would be upset if we dont go on those trips we dreamed of together.
ill miss the episodes of shows that ive been waiting so long for. ill miss the games that i dont even know are being made yet!
ill miss the table of orion, seeing everyone gather to tell a story we all live in.
ill miss the cold cake slice i buy myself a day after my birthday. ill miss all the art i have yet to make. all the small things that keep me going.
just one more day, i tell myself. just a day more and hopefully these small things add up to big things.
lets just do one day more, visitors. we will have our better days.